Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
