New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
