Pants 0. Shit 1.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I need moral support for this bender
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Randomize
