That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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