You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Text me some of your sweat
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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