Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The air was thick with penises
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
