Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
