Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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