im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
