Sponge bath it is.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
