we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
