she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just high enough for therapy.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
