Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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