You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
And then my night got REAL pukey
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
