No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
