Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
