So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
