So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
