who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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