im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
