I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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