so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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