Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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