...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
