Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
