she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
