i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
