why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
