And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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