the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I love you.
Bad choice
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
