NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
