drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
