IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
