think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
