If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
there is puke in my bra ... again
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
