Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
we're so committed to being not committed
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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