I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
