My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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