drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
50% drunk capacity currently
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
