p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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