I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
