First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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