How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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