these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
