Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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