What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
My vagina is officially offended.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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