I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
