i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
