those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
