i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
